We are in a trend of
what can be called “delayed marriages/delayed families.” The formation of a traditional nuclear family
is at an all-time low in American history. Husbands and wives are questioning if they can
afford, even with both working, to start a family. Just a few years ago the American family of
the future was likely be “1.8 children and 2 pets.” Let’s address the common reasons why fewer
young people are having large families.
Population fears
Recently, Dr. Paul R.
Ehrlich, author of the book The Population Bomb, passed away at age 93. His bestselling book of the ‘70s was filled
with doom-and-gloom predictions of mass starvation due to overpopulation. His work was nothing more than disgusting,
unsubstantiated fear-mongering. The
world is not overpopulated — not even close. That is a lie against God and a distortion of
the scientific facts. One
tongue-in-cheek but appropriate comment to his obituary read: “Dr. Paul R.
Ehrlich is survived by 8,300,678,394 people (134% increase from 1968), with a
daily worldwide average calorie intake of 2,800 kcal (a 22% increase).”
Financial fears
Many fear the expense
of raising children. The truth is, Satan
hates families and will do everything in his power to prevent or destroy them. Today’s “needs” were yesterday’s luxuries that
many cannot imagine doing without. Yet
they come with a cost that is shrinking families and decreasing fertility. Thankfully, there are still couples who are
committed to raising children to impact the world for Christ. There are increased numbers of stay-at-home
moms who refuse to get caught up in the materialism of today’s society. They have chosen a simple, wholesome lifestyle
with Christ at the center and are raising a happy children.
Biblical perspective
In Luke 2:24, we read
that Mary and Joseph brought Jesus to the temple to honor the Jewish law for
newborn boys. They could not afford a
lamb to sacrifice, but “a pair of turtledoves or two young pigeons” was an
acceptable offering to fulfill the law. They
recognized their financial position and humbly obeyed God’s Word. So should we.
Make a plan
Accept where you are
without comparing yourself to others. Understanding
who you are in Christ will give you the confidence to live “contra mundum.” The world will tell you everything you “need”
to outfit a nursery, how to dress fashionably during pregnancy, where to take a
“babymoon,” the best childcare available, and so on — basically telling you how
to spend your money (or max out your credit cards). Many projected costs are higher than necessary
for those who are consciously dedicated to living on a conservative budget.
Financial preparation is important to prevent stress during and after pregnancy. It is achievable by sacrificing for the greater good of a family. Choosing to live modestly does not mean you have to suffer. It simply means setting boundaries and prioritizing spending. Refuse to get too comfortable in this world by focusing on eternity, not on earthly desires. Be creative in finding ways to enjoy living free of financial worry and “keeping up with the Joneses.” The “Joneses” are probably in debt anyway.
Things to consider:
- Will both parents work outside the home after children arrive?
- Can you live on one income now?
- If working, will you have maternity benefits? Can your job become remote?
- Will you need childcare? If so, in or outside the home?
- Is your family willing to help?
Begin living on one income while using the other to build emergency savings. Pay down high-interest debt, like credit card balances. Create a budget that will enable you to save while simultaneously paying off debt. Be willing to adjust your lifestyle dramatically. This will create margin, especially if housing and vehicle expenses can be reduced. Bump up contributions to your Health Savings Account (HSA) so tax-free dollars can be used for medical expenses. Don’t forget to give first.
Start buying groceries regularly and cooking at home. Learn to make freezer meals. These will help once a baby actually arrives. Family, friends, and YouTube can provide recipes and cooking lessons.
Look for free entertainment without the cost of subscriptions and streaming, which add up over time.
Resist the temptation to hire professional photographers, have elaborate celebrations, or decorate a magazine-worthy nursery. Learn to be content with simplicity and a life free of financial stress. Find like-minded friends with whom you can do life.
Sell what you don’t need. Limit time on social media to avoid impulse spending or the desire for perceived needs. Save, get good health insurance, and write a will.
If you believe people will offer to have a baby shower for you, begin making a list of true essentials. Don’t spend any money until absolutely necessary. Instead, ask God to provide. If and when things are needed, you can borrow from family or friends or shop Facebook Marketplace and thrift stores. Don’t rob yourself of the joy of having your prayers answered by impatiently getting ahead of God.
Reject the nonsense found in The Population Bomb, and renew your mind on God’s truth:
“Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,
the fruit of the womb a reward. Like
arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with
them! He shall not be put to shame when
he speaks with his enemies in the gate” (Psalm 127:3–5 ESV).
Chaplain (Colonel-Ret), U.S. Army
Pastor, Ft. Snelling Memorial Chapel
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