For years, an urban legend has survived
because it has been accepted as fact by many people – the myth that half of all
marriages end in divorce. So, if you’re
getting married for the first time, the odds are even, right? 0/50? No.
Nope. Nada. It’s what would be called “disinformation” by
some today. And the myth about a 50
percent divorce rate in the church is an even bigger lie.
One Christian author and social researcher Shaunti Feldhahn says the true divorce rate is much lower and always has been. She has extensively researched the public perception of the 50% myth about divorce, trying to find its original source. And to her pleasant surprise, she couldn’t find any. She confessed to K-LOVE Radio that she had believed the myth too. “When I started looking at the Census Bureau tables and CDC tables, and the Bureau of Vital Statistics – that’s when I was like – ‘wait a minute this does not match the narrative at all,’ ” Feldhahn explained.
She didn’t just spend one afternoon in the local library looking into the subject. Her quest took her the next eight years, according to K-LOVE. “The reason it took eight years is that it is insanely complicated,” she admits. “There’s no one right number.” Why? “Because it kind of depends: like, is the rate of divorce the percentage of people who will get divorced in the future? Or is it the people who already are?”
Feldhahn then took all of her research findings and organized them into her book The Good News About Marriage: Debunking Discouraging Myths about Marriage and Divorce. “Seventy-one percent of people are still married to their first spouse,” she told the Christian radio network, which leaves 29%, but “that’s not the true story either. Because that includes everybody who was married for 50 years and their spouse died.”
When one factors in the death of a spouse, Feldhahn told K-LOVE she’s confident that the true divorce rate is currently no greater than 25%. “At one time, a 50% divorce rate in the future was actually a reasonable projection,” she said.
No-fault divorce entered the U.S. courts in 1972, which led to an explosion of divorces. Demographers of the day got really concerned and said, ‘Oh my goodness if this trend keeps up, we’re going to hit a 50% divorce rate someday.’ ” “But just a few short years later, in 1980, the divorce rate began to trend down,” Feldman explained. “We never got close to hitting the 50% projection…and that is what has not been corrected in the public opinion.”
In fact, far more people get married over the course of each year than get divorced, according to statistics compiled by Forbes. The latest data available from 2021 revealed a total of 689,308 divorces occurred across the 45 U.S. states that report this statistic. During that same year, 1,985,072 marriages occurred, making the U.S. marriage rate 6 per 1,000 people, the outlet reported.
Feldhahn told K-LOVE there’s one statistic that stood out to her – the age of the couple getting married. “People are getting married at slightly older ages – and when you get married very young, those people have a higher divorce rate risk,” she noted. The risk of divorce drops for couples who marry after age 25. Those who marry at 25 are 50% less likely to divorce when compared to couples who tied the knot at 20.
Feldhahn also shined a light on the divorce rate among those who have remarried following a divorce or the death of a spouse. She said, most people think the percentage is high, possibly two out of three remarriages. She called that statistic yet another “pure urban myth.” “My senior researcher, Tally Whitehead, and I spent three years trying to find the studies underneath that number,” she told the outlet. “We were very thorough – we went through all the different citations and news reports and websites – and they all trace back to three sources that don’t exist.”
Feldhahn’s book also reveals the divorce rate among those active in their church is 27 to 50 percent lower than among non-churchgoers. She told CBN News in a December 2022 interview that her hope is that once people learn the truth they will spread it far and wide. “We need to change the paradigm of how we talk about marriage – from marriage being in trouble and all this discouraging stuff to saying, ‘No, wait. Most marriages are strong and happy for a lifetime,’ " she told CBN News. “That makes a total difference to a couple who can now say, ‘You know what? Most people get through this and we can, too.’ ”
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